| I had a great day today but I am so tired that I came home and fell asleep for four hours. The kids seem to be unusually hyper lately and it is hard to keep the noise down during class activities. My Prac. Supervisor is coming tomorrow so I will have to be sure to cover the rules with them again. I also called a nurse to come into the class to talk about healthy living. This might have been bad planning on my part because it will probably make the kids even more hyper. Oh well. We made Irish potato men and women today. I put them up on a bulletin board in the class and the students were very proud to show everyone where theirs is on the wall. I talked to the kids about the Irish famine before we made them and it was funny to see the reaction when I asked them how they would like to eat nothing but potatoes for an entire year. We brainstormed some of the foods that can be made from potatoes and some of the kids thought it would be great to eat nothing but potato ships all the time. Ya, I'm so sure.
I had quite an experience after I woke up on my couch though. I looked in my jacket pocket to see if my wallet was there. Sure enough it wasn't. I tore the house apart looking for it and started freaking out. My CT told me that I should always lock my wallet up, and I haven't been lately. Her words were going through my head as I started imagining that someone had stolen my wallet. Finally I dug through my paper drawer to see if I could find my bank slip to cancel my visa and bank card. I decided to take a look in my car first though. I went outside and my neighbour started talking to me about something, but I was so pre occupied that I wasn't listening. I told her my troubles and she casually looks in the back seat of my car and says "what is that?" Sure enough it was in there. What a dumb ass! | comments: Leave a comment   |
| OK well I thought I would give this a try. I had the best day today and I thought it would be nice to share it. Since my cat is the only one home and she doesn't really have a clue what I'm saying, i thought i would try something else to pass the time. Oh yes, about my day. I am doing my practicum in a kindergarten class right now. This means that I have four weeks left until I become an actual certified teacher, as well as an unemployed bum but thats beside the point. My boyfriend M has been ever so supportive through my efforts including my occasional mental breakdowns and crying episodes. But hey, thats what its all about I guess.
Kindergarten kids are so darn cute! This little guy in the class was singing in his best voice to our good morning song. The reason why it caught my attention was because it was about five chords higher then the rest of the kids. In other words he tries to sing in the highest voice possible and the thing that makes me laugh is that he is so serious about his singing. He truely believes that he is the one the only the best single singer in the entire universe...and hey why not? If only we could all feel that proud of ourselves.
My practucum supervisor came in today to observe me teaching a lesson. I ended up teaching a math lesson that I was supposed to teach yesterday becuase for some reason I thought that he was coming yesterday and not today. Anyway, all went well. I have six grade one students in the afternoon beacuse the k's leave at 11:00. To my surprise though, I find teaching much more difficult in the afternoon then in the morning. The kids were great though. Its as if they sensed that I was nervous and the seemed to put on a show to impress the supervisor. What ever it was it seemed to work. Teaching is a hard job, and it is even harder when you are being observed by a retired principal. At any rate he had many positive things to say about me and he seems to think that I will be a good teacher. I can't wait to be done so that I can start off on my own. Six years of education has not gone by fast. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Well I feel the need to babble, so please bear with me a while. I was lying on my couch tonight trying to catch a quick nap, but my brain would just not shut off long enough to drop in on La La Land so I decided to check out some "random" livejournal sites. There are some really cool people out there…and then there are some that need serious help. It got me thinking about the different perspectives that people take on life and how people deal with the choices that they make. All I know is that the choices that I have made in my life to this point have led me down the path that I am on. I make the choice to stay on this path because if I was unhappy then I could choose to make a change. My friend Bob was telling me about a job that he had before he decided to go back to school. He was running a brokerage company and making tons of money doing it but he wasn't happy and he had no time to enjoy life at all. He said that one day he was working within the daily chaos that was his life and the phones were ringing and the people were buzzing all around him. Suddenly something snapped within him and he stopped for a second and looked out the window to see two tree planters walking down the sidewalk laughing and joking as they went. He quit his job that day (despite the many lawsuits that were to follow) and decided to go back to school. The company closed soon after he left and he has never once regretted making that decision. I can say that I have been pretty poor for quite some time now, but I would much rather be poor and happy then wealthy and miserable. Maybe teaching is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, there are many things that I want to do and I just hope that I have the courage to change my situation when the time comes that I am no longer happy with my station in life. I have a hypothesis that it is possible to make good things happen just by visualizing them occurring. On a side note, a really crappy thing happened to Audrey last week when the pipes burst in her house. She is one of the few people I know who always has a smile on her face and something positive to say. Today she was in tears in the bathroom and I felt so bad for her because there wasn't anything that I could do besides give her a hug and listen to her troubles. It really sucks when bad things happen to nice people. I will think good thoughts for Audrey and hopefully my hypothesis is true. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Sadness and loneliness. What does it mean to be lonely? How important is social interaction. We all have times when we feel alone, and sometimes it is the best thing in the world, other times we find ourselves curled up on the couch sobbing as the thoughts of alone invade our mind and leave us feeling inadequate and worthless. When is there too much alone? There is the alone that happens when friends are busy and don't have time to call. This leaves us wondering if maybe, just maybe, that there was one too many times when we were called and unable to attend. Maybe our friends have abandoned us, given up, that they have decided not to call any longer…because we are just not available, not remembered, not fun any more. This kind of alone is usually remedied by giving people a quick call and saying hey…even if you have to leave the messages on their machines. We tend to dwell in this alone at night after we have been left out of the picture for one day and we feel that the world has forgotten us. But then there is another kind of alone. This alone happens when we have one or two friends that we sort of like, but they are not people that are really close to. This alone is the alone that goes on for about a week and we talk to people during the day, sit at home alone on weekday nights, but on the weekend, you usually hang out with one of them. This is harder then the first kind of alone because it goes on longer. It is hard to get close to people who really understand you and really care about you and who you look forward to seeing. The third kind of alone is the hardest. It is the alone that leaves you empty and depressed. It is the alone that goes on for weeks and all you want is someone to talk to but not just anyone can fill the void. It seems so deep that it is hard to see out. It is the alone that someone wakes up with, carries though the day, and lies on the couch thinking about at night. It goes on for days. People generally have no sympathy for most lonely people. They say, well get off your ass and make some friends. But, for some, it is not that easy. Some people have a difficult time talking to anybody, let alone strangers. Some people have problems getting past the "getting to know the basics" and some people don't even get past hello. Thinking about getting older is scary, thinking about this alone and how many elderly people sit in their nursing home rooms with the alone on their minds. Why don't people care more about eachother? Those who have the skills to chat can make a lonely person's day. People need to be more understanding and get to know shy people even if they do not make the first move. What I'm saying is, people need to care more about other people. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| What is it that draws you into the life, but the ebbing of the mind? The much and the too much that happens…and the nothing. The quiet that allows the mind to open and urges the little voice to overflow with the worries and the urgent need for more, and less. People are never happy and yet there is the march of time that never really stops to care for the self-pity that we all absorb ourselves in. Me, I need something to say. So many thoughts and not enough creative words to express the life that lives all around me and swells within my brain. Who are these people in my life? How to mind myself. I cannot even seem to find myself. I wake and force the life that I live, and yet I sit back and wonder how I am going to make it. What is the "it" that I search so hard to find in this world that I have created for myself? The layers of the world seem overwhelming at times, but it is also beautiful. To dissect the layers and to look deeper at the meanings of all that that surrounds me is to see the beauty and the ugliness in one un-quantifiable, indescribable moment. I sometimes just wish so see the surface. To stop the more from defining and dissecting the connection of the I to the world in order to hear the quiet vacuity of the essence of being. How many things, she asks, are you doing simultaneously right now? I am the sulking and the feeling, and the breathing and the beating. Escape.
GIFT
You tell me that silence
is nearer to peace than poems
but if for my gift
I brought you silence
(for I know silence)
you would say
This is not silence
this is another poem
and you would hand it back to me.
Leonard Cohen | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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